Jean's Blog

I have been visiting my grands who live almost 2000 miles away. Truly, it has been a blessing being here for nearly two weeks; but all good things must come to an end. *Sigh*

We are not able to see them near enough for my liking. When we are not here, I miss them like crazy.

This trip we’ve played, swam, visited several parks. Swinging so high, my tummy tickled. Cherishing every moment. Holding on to each tender touch and sweet smile.

I’ve pondered, what is it that I want them to remember. What profound word or principle can I leave them with this time.

While floating in the pool, staring at God’s beauty in the clouds, my heart became full. Full of His presence and Word.

There is nothing that I can say that will last a lifetime. It is what I DO with the time I have been given that will translate into lifetime lessons and memories.

After raising my children, when they came of age, they left. A part of my heart was wounded. The nest now empty, who and where am I in this picture of life.

It took a while, but adjustment came. My life is full and overflowing, just on a different path. Now I travel down the road with a blessed assurance, there is so much more. More to give, to do, to be.

Let me encourage you, if you find yourself plodding along after the kiddos leave – there is life – abundant life for you.

I co-lead an (in)courage community group on Facebook, for “empty nesters.” To join the conversation, simply go to the (in)courage: Last Chick Out page, and click join group.

see you around the path ~Debra 

When the last child leaves home, it has a profound effect on the family unit – more so for women than men.

A term coined by the medical community to tag feelings of loneliness, sadness and loss which accompany the time a child leaves the safety of the home; “empty-nest syndrome” is real.

Whether our children leave for college, come of age or get married, it’s common to feel we are no longer needed. We have to redefine our role in life.

For sure, there will be times we cry and our heart will ache. Mine did. Still does.

A towel no-one can use is neatly tucked in a drawer. It was my daughter’s favorite. A lone T-shirt, folded nearby, belongs to my son. Surgical cap, baby socks, and other minutia is now my hope chest – All my children.

Thanks to Skype, FaceTime, and other electronic sources, staying in touch – or at least in view- with our children and Grands, softens the blow.

A surprising discovery as each of my little chicks flew the coop; a gentle turn on the pathway of life was beginning.

While walking along the daily path, time was available (probably always had been) to take notice of God’s natural grandeur. smells. sights. sounds. Ah, I am there in a moment – now.

Then, there is the love of my life – my husband. We began to court again. Date. Find out who each of us were, post chicks in the nest.

I’m having the time of my life.

On the days I slip into my hope chest of today, I smell, see and remember the sounds of those babies of mine, then.

How are you coping with your empty nest? Is it the time of your life?

see you around the path ~Debra

NOTE: Should you be in need of a referral due to severe depression possibly surrounding Empty-nest Syndrome, please comment below, or email me.

Support groups are also available to connect with women dealing with an empty-nest. I invite you to join an (in)courage empty-nest group, I co-lead on FaceBook : Last Chick Out. We have a great time over there.

In recent posts I’ve  been talking a lot about community. Hold on, because, there are more to come.

Whether we realize it yet, we are all a part of community. In the workplace, family (immediate and extended), church,  non-profit events/groups and online communities, which speak to your personal place or passion at present. With community, comes hurt. How do we deal with feelings of hurt or disappointment?

Some years ago my husband and I were called to an area to assist a Pastor we had known for a number of years. It so happened that we had been Home Missionaries there before – for one and a half years – before I fell gravely ill. Moving with the direction of the Lord and leadership, we moved back to our home, so I could be closer to family.

When called back to the area, there were some in our (church) “community” that disagreed with God’s calling. I had been healed by the hand of God, thus the ability to complete what God had originally called us to do – the ending being different from the beginning. Still building a work for the Kingdom of God, but in a different way.

We left the Home Missions church in good order, just short notice. This left us wondering why other ministers (not parishioners), were indifferent toward us. We were uncomfortable at every district and ministry function. The indifference shocked us, and hurt us deeply. Our Pastor, to whom we were assisting, continued encouraging us. He knew the decision was God’s will.

Finally, we decided to dedicate “specific” prayer and fasting times, asking  God to bless our fellow laborers and show us how we could change to make the situation better.

Entering into our third year, a turnaround occurred. One of the prominent pastors of the district began to acknowledge us openly and show his favor toward us. It was amazing how it only took one to get others on board. We are all fragile and find trusting hard. After all, they were all hurt too when we left the first time. Even though we think our reasons are perfect, and everyone should accept them, it’s rarely the way it goes. God is amazing with His plans – for good and not evil for each of us. We can all be vulnerable and cave in to peer pressure.

Overcoming hurts in community, whether on-or-off line, requires humility and forgiveness by both sides. There is freedom in forgiveness. Moreover, it requires stamina and resolve to stay the course. Your community is worth it – just hold on.

God’s Word relates that our transgressions, once forgiven, are no longer remembered.  He puts them as far as the east is to the west. In other words they are non-existent.

Have you had trouble with forgiveness? How have you been hurt by community? Please share your story in the comments section.

see you around the path ~ Debra